The 21st-century school bully need not rely on just fists and a cruel tongue. The Internet is now part of the bully's arsenal, making cyber-bullying possible anywhere -- and not just around school hours.
The Internet has also opened the door for first-time bullies, according to a University of Toronto study.
"A threat made through Facebook or texting is as serious as a threat made at school," says Brenda Simmonds, principal of Monterey Middle School in Victoria.
Any cases that surface at school or at home can be tricky to peg down. Detection is far less likely than in face-to-face bullying. The cyber-bully hides behind the Internet's cloak of anonymity. There's little risk of being interrupted or found out by an adult. Also, there's less chance of a victim physically retaliating.
"Because you have that layer, it makes the cyber-bully braver and less inhibited," Simmonds says.
Cyber-bullying is much the same as regular bullying, but without the physical presence, says the University of Victoria's Bonnie Leadbeater. It's intentionally hurting someone by teasing, intimidation, rumour or exclusion. "These are the kids who are repeatedly harassed and bullied and end up killing themselves," Leadbeater says.
Cyber-bullying is happening more and more, according to Darren Laur, a Victoria, B.C., police officer who, as a personal protection consultant, often speaks at schools. "It's the big thing now. Back in our day, it used to be the bathroom wall," Laur says, referring to the way reputations were once damaged at school.
Laur estimates his private company receives two calls a month about cyber-bullying. Last year, one came from a high school where a group of girls had created a website and blog to target one girl.
The 2008 University of Toronto study found half the young people surveyed reported being cyber-bullied. And, according to the study cited on the Be Web Aware website, 75 per cent of those admitting to cyber-bullying someone had never bullied anyone off-line and face-to-face.
Cyber-bullying was unheard of 12 years ago when Leadbeater helped create WITS, the widely used school anti-bullying program sparked in part by the 1997 homicide of schoolgirl Reena Virk.
"It just wasn't an issue," Leadbeater says, adding it became one a few years ago. She and her grad students have since augmented the program with cyber-bullying material for parents and children.
Cellphone use by children has increased by 68 per cent since 2005, according to New York's Mediamark Research and Intelligence (media-mark.com). An estimated 36.1 per cent of 10-and 11-year-olds have cellphones. Most use them for basic communication tasks, such as calling parents (88.1 per cent), calling friends (68.1 per cent), emergency purposes (55.7 per cent) and text messaging (54.1 per cent).
Technology has changed the way kids interact. Today's children are far more electronically connected -- and computer savvy than their parents, Laur says.
"We know most of the kids are involved in communicating with each other," Simmonds says. Her school bans texting and cellphone use during school hours, but she can't guarantee it doesn't happen.
Sandra Hudson, a mother of an 11-and a 14-year-old, was surprised that children send or receive an average of about 3,000 text messages a month until she checked the monthly statement for her son's iPhone texts. He was close to the mark.
"That's how they communicate," Hudson says, referring to the few words or lines he texts to friends or to her.
While the adolescent Hudson might have been overheard on the family phone, that's unlikely when her son texts on his iPhone.
"He could be sitting next to me in the car and cyber-bullying someone, and I wouldn't know," Hudson says, not believing he actually does.
Chances are you won't know if your child is a cyber-bully, according to Laur. "You won't know until someone contacts you."
It's also difficult to know if your child is being bullied, Laur says. Children don't readily admit to it.
The signs, however, are similar to any type of bullying -- fear of leaving home, crying for no apparent reason, decline in school work, change in dress, calls to parents for a pickup at school and a concern for personal safety.
The first thing a parent should do if their child is cyber-bullied is contact the bully's parents. Further, notify your child's school and even the police. Once a child reaches 12, uttering threats or harassment can be a criminal matter, Laur says.
Kids don't realize the scope of the Internet, according to Leadbeater.
"Kids don't understand it's a public document as soon as it's on the Internet. They don't think it's illegal or can be easily traced," she says.
The consensus is that parents should set family rules on Internet use. Further, they should familiarize themselves with what their child is doing and where on the Internet, Leadbeater says.
"Make it clear that you, the parent, know what cyber-bullying is."
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